So…You See, We Bought This House…

…And then we painted the kitchen a lovely shade of grey/green.  And then we weather stripped three doors.  And then we tore out the basement sink, stove, fridge, and counter.  And then we fixed some copper plumbing.  And then we tore out some storage cabinets.  And then the radon guys drilled some holes in the foundation and ran some pipes.  And then we tore out a door jam to fit a washer and dryer through.  And then we took down an interior door because it just made more sense.  And then the radon guys drilled some more holes and installed some more pipe.  And then we tore some concrete out of the yard.  And then we removed the last of this season’s garden.  And then we cut down a tree and took two stumps out of the ground.  And then we replaced the garbage disposal (thrice).  And then we tilled up next season’s garden.  And then we built a storage shed, filled it, and enjoyed it’s storage capacity.  And then we added a bar support to the clothes bar in our closet.  And then we found a leak in the kitchen sink plumbing.  And then we removed all the wet sheet rock from the spot on the basement ceiling where it was leaking through (for assessment purposes, you know).  And then we put a bucket under the sink and contemplated a judicious use of duct tape until after Thanksgiving.

During that time I:  Bathed the dog(‘s butt) a dozen times.  Cleaned up 1/2 a dozen “accidents” (one of which was the Frankie’s! What??!).   Packed, moved, unpacked, repacked.  Mopped, scrubbed, scoured, washed, dusted, repeat.  Made how many phone calls to utility companies?  Made how many requests for our deposit from the lazy landlord?  Bought a new microwave, toaster, and coffee pot.  Made apple butter for the neighbors to apologize for a) the noise from all that concrete removal and b) breaking their ax while tearing out the stumps.  Cursed at the Caridnals for Tom because I feel sorry for him and thought he could use some help (and because he is closet-supporting the Steelers and it only seemed fair) (Yes Tom, I just outed you.  Maybe one of those cheerleaders you’re so proud of has something to make you feel better.)

P.S. By “we” I really mean Cody and Matthew.  Though I was totally there in spirit and I did help with some of those things, like discovering the leak and removing this season’s garden.  But, let’s face it, I was up to my elbows in poop and probably smelled bad, so really I don’t think they’d have wanted me around anyhow.