Archive for April, 2008

A List: Good Things About Being on Bed Rest

Apr 26 2008 Published by Eve under Unsorted

  1. Texas — Our big, new bed.
  2. Pretending that the Harry Potter movies are actually musicals.
  3. Sherlock Holmes, my dear readers.
  4. Everything I need is provided for me by a handsome, young male nurse.
  5. Peanut has the hiccups 3 or 4 times a day.
  6. Chocolate chips.
  7. Frankie keeps my feet nice and toasty.
  8. I don’t have to clean bathrooms.
  9. When I leave the house once a week I notice all the things that have changed. This week everything was flowering.
  10. Taking a shower feels like a miniature vacation in a tropical paradise.

~Mrs.

One response so far

And Then He Broke Out the Hair Dryer and Yelled Something About a Entering a Tunnel

Apr 18 2008 Published by Eve under Unsorted

For the last two weeks I’ve been assigned to bed rest. Mr. is doing his best to keep up with my demands, and when I need something I just ask and it appears.

On Tuesday, while he was down the hall in his office I tried to yell for him but he didn’t hear me. Naturally, I picked up my cell phone and called him.

Me: Hi. How are things?

Mr.: Fine.

Me: I was wondering if I could get a refill on a few things?

Mr.: What? I’m sorry I can’t hear you.

Me: I was wondering if I could get a refill on a few things?

Mr.: The reception is bad here. What do you need?

Me: The reception is bad? You’re 20 feet away from me.

Mr.: What?

At first I questioned why he didn’t just get up and walk down the hall to talk to me. And then I wondered if maybe I wasn’t being too demanding.

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I Should Also Be Disguised As A Beggar Woman

Apr 14 2008 Published by Eve under Unsorted

Sherlock Holmes line I would most like to use in conversation in my lifetime:

“I must apologize for calling so late, and I must further beg you to be so unconventional as to allow me to leave your house presently by scrambling over your back garden wall.”

From: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Complete Sherlock Holmes: Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes, The Final Problem.

~Mrs.

One response so far